He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
