I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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