Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize