So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
