She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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