Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
