Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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(352): View more from Florida

if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.

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(516): View more from New York

I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something

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(301): View more from Maryland

He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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(520): View more from Arizona

No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.

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