and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
