I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
