I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Green mimosas i think yes
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
