i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
