I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
