Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
