even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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