Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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