I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I lost the right to judge tonight
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
