At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
