I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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