I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
