my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
