i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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