Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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