Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
