So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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