Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
