My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize