I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
