Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
