She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
