he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
