yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
