Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
