Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
