My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
