# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
