honey bunches of taint.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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