The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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