It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
