Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
