so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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