I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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