people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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