Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
