i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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