new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
