And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize