Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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