Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
