So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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