If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Reggie can tackle my bush.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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