I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
