I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
