I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
