who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
