Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
