He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
