Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
