I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize