My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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