I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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