I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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