yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
