I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
