4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
