I'm eating all of the evidence.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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