You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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