Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
