I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
