How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
